90 - Juls Bindi
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Juls Bindi: [00:00:00] Our bodies remember what our minds try to forget. Sexual trauma especially, it doesn't just like live in our memories. It imprints in ourself into our nervous system, into our muscles, our breath, our patterns, even our immune responses from what and when something happens to us that violates our safety, especially in childhood, and we don't feel safe enough to process it or speak about it, that energy has to go somewhere.
Right. And often it gets stored in the body. So it's a record keeper and it's all about, when is enough, right? Like when are you gonna say, my body is in enough pain to where, I wanna take a look at this. It's kind of like if you're in a lot of negative talk constantly, like, oh, I'm so dumb.
Why did I do that? This is stupid. I can't believe I did this to myself. Why didn't I say no? I wanted to say no, but then I said yes. 'cause I just wanted the pressure to be gone. it costs us, right? It's like we, what we know is what's the false reward of staying quiet? It's not embarrassing somebody of getting it over with not wanting even more trauma from having to talk about it.
So there's a lot there,
Welcome to the Wild and Well Collective Podcast where we believe empowered health [00:01:00] is your superpower. We have combined our expertise in medicine and nutrition to bring you the latest research expert insights and success stories of people on a mission to live a big life. So buckle up and get ready to learn how to live wildly well.
Welcome back to another episode of The Wild and Well Collection. Today I am super excited to have Jules Bindi, a great friend of mine. She is a powerhouse entrepreneur. She's an emotional intelligence advocate here in Austin, Texas, and she is an entrepreneur at heart. Today she is. Now the founder of EQ Kid Books, which is a heartfelt publishing company helping kids build emotional intelligence.
Set healthy boundaries and believe in themselves, which I think is fabulous. Her release, my Body, my rules is already sparking powerful conversations in homes and schools across the country. From leading in business to advocating for change. Jules inspires with her vision, her voice, and [00:02:00] her unwavering belief that resilience and heart can change the world.
So I hope you enjoy this episode of The Wild and Well Collective.
Christa Elza: Welcome, Jules. I'm so excited that you are here with us on the Wild and well collective this week. I'm so excited to dive into the depth of knowledge that you have around emotional intelligence, how our thoughts and our beliefs really affect our entire being, including our body, and and also just to hear about what's latest on what you're creating in this world.
So I wanna start with a little bit of your background. Will you share with us what you do day to day, like what do you do with emotional intelligence and what kind of brought you to the place that you are right now in your life?
Juls Bindi: Yeah. Thanks for having me also, Chris. I appreciate it.
Well, my journey has been, some would say traumatic, a lot of my background, us doing emotional intelligence workshops together and being close with intimate friends for quite some time. [00:03:00] And through the years when I first started looking into emotional intelligence, I was a walking victim. I was processing trauma from my past when I was a child, a trigger warning.
I was four years old when I witnessed my sister getting molested by my next door neighbor. I have been raped. I have been sexually assaulted more times than I could possibly even count. I know that sounds sad, but it's true. And sexual assault doesn't have to be something that's violent. I. That's pushing you up against a wall.
It can also be something that you say, no, no, no. Yet they still do it. And then they finally stop when you start crying or whatnot. That's, it's all the same. There is no difference. No means no, right? Mm-hmm. And through this journey, I was blessed to get a divorce that wasn't the most soft divorce, which ended up allowing me to create.
An emotional intelligence children's publishing [00:04:00] company called EQ Kid Books. And through that I ended up writing a book called My Body, my Roles, which is actually the third book in my series. 'cause I ended up writing 13 books so far. But I've only released one of them. And the reason why only one is 'cause my body, my rules for ages four to 12.
I've had 12 year olds read this and say, oh my God, this was amazing. And I wanted children to teach them that it's okay to have rules for your body. We have rules for school, rules for our house. Like definitely if you have boys, you definitely have to have rules. Yeah, rules for our bodies. Like what's our autonomy?
Like, ask before touching me, I can say no whenever I want to. No means no. It's like we all need a set of rules. So that went me, that, that took me through a spiral of. Creating all these amazing storybooks. I have so many books. These are all the books, but this is the one that my body, my rules that is out right now.
[00:05:00] And I have welcome to Harmony Hills, Dracula finds a home, and my, manifest the best day ever. All these beautiful books. But again, my mission right now is my body, my roles, and that's what we want to talk about, I guess today, because our body store trauma,
Christa Elza: right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's really interesting.
I, to go back to, I've read your book, I think it's amazing. And, I know your book is written for younger kids, which I think is great because we've gotta learn some of these rules about our body young, so that we know how to stand up for ourselves. And we are more aware as we age.
But I, liked, I know it was written for younger people, but it is true, even my teenagers. When they say, mom, get out, eh, don't hug me. It really is my responsibility then to acknowledge like, they don't want to be touched. They don't, they don't wanna hug right then. And for me to impose myself on teenage boys, that's hard as a mom.
But I think on the deeper level, what's important for us as adults to understand is [00:06:00] that. I see this in my clinic too, where we're dealing with things like endometriosis or PCOS or just infertility and not knowing why or terrible cramps. And I think that the MINDBODY spirit connection is absolutely real.
And what we store and what we don't move through can often develop disease states. Now we can use medicine to try to, I take more of an integrative approach with these patients. Sometimes you do need medication. You do need months of changing diet, exercise, da, da, da. But you also have to acknowledge when did this start and what happened earlier in your life that you felt like boundaries were crossed.
What happened to you as a younger person sexually, that maybe you're holding that trauma in these areas of your body. And how do you work through that? And so I would like you to share a little bit about. Dealing with and becoming more emotionally intelligent? Like does it require a course?
Are there things [00:07:00] that we can do in our day to day around our beliefs about our life in general and what we choose to focus on and how we can kinda add that into our beliefs around our body?
Juls Bindi: That's a great question. Well, first I wanted to say like, first we get to acknowledge that the body is a record keeper of trauma, right?
Our bodies remember what our minds try to forget. Sexual trauma especially, it doesn't just like live in our memories. It imprints in ourself into our nervous system, into our muscles, our breath, our patterns, even our immune, our immune responses from what and when something happens to us that violates our safety, especially in childhood, and we don't feel safe enough to process it or speak about it, that energy has to go somewhere.
Right. And often it gets stored in the body. Yeah. So it's a record keeper and it's all about, it's all about when is enough, enough, right? Like when are you gonna say, my body is in [00:08:00] enough pain to where, I wanna take a look at this. It's kind of like if you're in a lot of negative talk constantly, like, oh, I'm so dumb.
Why did I do that? This is stupid. I can't believe I did this to myself. Why didn't I say no? I wanted to say no, but then I said yes. 'cause I just wanted the pressure to be gone. It's, it costs us, right? It's like we, what we know is what's the false reward of staying quiet? It's not embarrassing somebody of getting it over with not wanting even more trauma from having to talk about it.
So there's a lot there, you
Christa Elza: know? Right. Absolutely. I totally agree with that, and I think when people get a little bit sketched out about like, oh, come on, really do, does our thoughts and our, does that really affect your body? Think about other ways that our thoughts can affect our body.
So you could be laying in bed, there's no thread around you and you're thinking about something really scary or really angering. You'll notice that your heart speeds up. Your hands might get sweaty. Just because of the thought. And so I think people can relate to that. Like, oh yeah, my body does [00:09:00] respond if I'm laying there.
Or your body does respond to the thoughts that you're having. Whether that's a pleasurable thought or not a pleasurable thought. In terms of trauma, that's a stored energy. And I just find it really fascinating that mind body connection there where, you have to sit with it. And I think that's probably the hardest part about personal development and about emotional intelligence. It's, there's not really an easy path to get there. You really have to be willing to say, I'm ready to stop ignoring it, pushing it down, and I'm willing to face it. Now, a lot of these things are, we have little, little traumas where, we have breakups and we have people who hurt our feelings and.
Those are real and they can add up to a big deal if we don't deal with them. Right? And then we have big trauma things like rape, things like witnessing something violent. So there's a bit of a difference there. And I think depending on what kind of trauma you're dealing with, depends on who can guide you and help you, right?
Not everybody is qualified to handle [00:10:00] big T trauma, which can be. Really visceral to people going back to that moment, right? We know if your mind goes back there, that can be a very challenging. And so you need someone who is a professional in more big T trauma. Little t traumas I think are pretty safe.
They're not comfortable. They're certainly not comfortable. You might cry, you might scream, you might, you might feel all of those emotions again. But what is your experience with, committing yourself to doing some of the personal development to move through some of the trauma in your own life.
To move through it and move past it, because when it comes down to it, yes, it affects your mental health, but it also affects your physical health.
Juls Bindi: Yeah. Again, it goes back to, the cost of silence and disconnection. If I did not work on myself and choose into understanding and learning more about.
Why I am doing certain things, why I'm getting triggered by certain people, why I am choosing to give my power away to people by the most little tiniest things like if we get, like you understand Krista, like if we get upset at our [00:11:00] child, it's our fault. It's not their fault. We're the ones that got triggered by something else that was triggering us in the past and we decided to yell.
We chose into that from past trauma of whom? Of our parents, of our mom, our dad, how they. Treated us when we were a children, and it's imprinted so deeply in us. So again, it's the cost of silence and disconnection. So many of us were raised to be quiet, right? Be nice. Ignore the dis discomfort in our bodies, just like it's, that's just what it was.
Like, oh, my back hurts. Oh, did you pull it? No, like that's an energetic tie to something, or your neck is hurting you. You slept on it wrong. It just. Why is your neck hurting randomly when you've been sleeping on the same pillow for so many years and then suddenly it just happens. But ironically, this is happening at the same time.
You have to make this crazy business decision, right? Everything is tied to everything. But it's interesting, that silence becomes [00:12:00] disconnection, right? And we have been silencing ourself for so long, we don't even realize that we're disconnected. And that disconnection. Yeah, it creates perfect breeding ground for emotional overwhelm, right?
Chronic illness. It just, it just keeps going on, like anxiety and depression. And what we realize is someone says, oh, I'm depressed. No, you're not depressed. You are not depressed. You cannot be depression. You might feel it momentarily, but you also have happiness and
We must relearn how to feel safe in our own skin. And a part of that comes from learning to speak our truth no matter how long it's been silent, because it's going to live in us.
Until we decide to speak up about it and for, for years. Like, Krista, the whole Harvey Weinstein story,
Christa Elza: right? It
Juls Bindi: is like we were all silent for so long. It just, we just, we were scared to talk about it. We didn't, we just ignored it. [00:13:00] We're like, oh, it happened to us, but it's just the thing that happened to us.
Mm-hmm. And it just happened to be like he was going to be the one we were going to talk about all of us. And we didn't call out like every single person that sexually assaulted him. We were able to use him as a martyr to stop everything from every one and use him as a martyr. And unfortunately, he was the martyr.
Fortunately, unfortunately for him, he was the martyr and we got to use our voice and basically start a whole me too movement because of it.
Christa Elza: Mm-hmm. Which is so important, I think. I think a lot of people suffer in silence around their, the trauma or like you mentioned earlier, sexual trauma isn't necessarily, like you said, violent rape.
It's not being heard saying no gently and it being ignored. Right. And then as women, sometimes we do tend to be people pleasers and like, okay, fine, we'll just. Keep moving forward with his agenda right now. [00:14:00] And it's not gonna, it's not gonna be the end of the world. Let's just move forward with the next step of what's happening right now.
And then, so there was no violence per se, but you know, inside you weren't doing what you wanted to do, you're, you were a no. And you decided to appease the him, that person, him, her, whatever. But it really wasn't what you wanted. And I think. We can walk around with a lot of guilt and shame around that.
Even though looking at it in a technical perspective, it wasn't a violent rape, let's say it just, you were not heard and then you go along with whatever because you don't want to, you don't wanna hurt their feelings. As weird as that set, that means, right. Or as weird as that sounds, it's then all of a sudden you're carrying on this guilt and the shame and how does that translate into over time?
Into our health, into our body, you're carrying around. That can affect your nervous system in a way that you don't feel safe in your body anymore. You don't trust yourself. And that can, over time of years of just not dealing with [00:15:00] it. I see women all the time with GI issues and there's a lot to unpack there.
There's a lot of stress. And some of it has to do with these kinds of things carrying around guilt and shame and just. Going to bed with a spinning mind every night, and that does affect our body, right?
Juls Bindi: Yeah. Have you heard of the saying that our bodies are a vibration? What is a vibration?
A vibration is a sound. It's a sound that we probably cannot even hear, and we are all just a little bit different. We have a different electron or neutron or atom, different from each other. So there's a saying that the scientists look at a neutron, an atom. They separate that they see the electro. I'm not really good at science si science, so I may be butchering this, but when you go to through the atom and you separate that and you see the electrons and neutrons, if I'm.
I'm saying something wrong. You guys are doctors, so just correct me. And I heard that like, oh, there's nothing else there. But I heard if you go look into that deeper, that there's a little line, it's like almost [00:16:00] like a string and it's playing a vibration and assert frequency. So just think about this.
If your body is full of these tiny little sound frequencies in your atoms, then. You are vibrating a certain frequency, whatever you are carrying at all times. It's like that sign study of water. You look at water and you say, I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Or I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
I hate you. And the waters in the cells either look beautiful or they look ugly. They look terrible. They look like, ugh, like gross. But the thing is our bodies, what, 85% water? Is that? Is that fact to say correct? So, and ironically. The Earth. Planet Earth is 85% body water. Like what's the chances of that?
And if someone fact check me, but it's pretty damn close. And if you are carrying around victim mentality, and this is where I'm getting at, your whole body is carrying victim. I always get raped guys. I there, I can never find any good guys. Oh my gosh. [00:17:00] Like I, I should have kicked him in the balls. I feel shame for not being able to speak up because of me other girls were raped because I didn't speak up first about it.
And then all these girls after me were victimized. I actually carried that when people were coming out publicly about certain people. I was like. Could have I prevented that?
Christa Elza: Mm-hmm.
Juls Bindi: And what does that mean? Victim mentality? That was what the level of my body was vibrating. Yeah. And what does that do?
I manifest more of that. I can manifest more rape, I can manifest more sexual assault. I can manifest all of that stuff. And there's probably people gonna be listening right now saying, well, I didn't manifest getting sexually assaulted or molested when I was a child, number one. That could be bad fucking luck, number one.
Mm-hmm. Like my sister at six years old did not manifest getting sexually assaulted, but there's another way of looking at it saying maybe just maybe she did call that in on a spiritual level to get her to where she's at. 'cause my sister is one of those epic human [00:18:00] beings I've ever met in this life, and she would not be who she is today if she did not get molested by our neighbor.
I'm so thankful, so fucking thankful. And we have reached a sign of forgiveness, the changing our emotional vibration inside of our bodies in order to reach that forgiveness level with this person. Mm-hmm. And I'm thankful for it. So emotional intelligence gives us the framework to come back into our bodies.
Right. And so what is that? Emotional intelligence is a tool. So if you're looking like what is emotional intelligence, it's the opposite of iq, which is eq. Hence why I did EQ kid books. Right. And it's not just about naming your emotions. It's about respecting what your body is trying to tell you, and that is through pain.
That is through discomfort, that is through breast cancer. That is through awareness and boundaries and voice. We begin to reclaim the parts of ourselves that were lost in trauma. It's like a big [00:19:00] hole and filled with all this trauma, and you're just like digging it out one by one. That's what emotional intelligence does, is to support you.
You peel away onion after onion and layered after layer. Like I didn't even know. I still cared that my cat died when I was four years old and I was. Oh my God. And I'm still crying about it. Like, I don't understand. Right. Like we screw
Christa Elza: everything.
Juls Bindi: Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. So I believe this work, it's like this body awareness is what prevents disease.
Christa Elza: Mm-hmm.
Juls Bindi: Because disease often begins when we suppress truth.
Christa Elza: Yeah. That's interesting. I, I have wondered too with, again, there's physics, right? We have physics. There's certain things, there's genetics, there's there, if you jump off of a building, you're going to die, right? There's physics that creates disease and death.
And then there's also what you talked about with the frequency and the vibration that we're putting out and the stored trauma. And, me being diagnosed with breast cancer brought me into, okay, cool. I've [00:20:00] got a genetic predisposition for this check. Got that. But then also, what are the beliefs around my own health and my own body, and where do I go from here?
Right? Because when you mentioned, what happened to your sister at a young age, she wouldn't be who she is today without it. And in those terms, we can say, great, this is what I've been diagnosed with in my body. How can I look at Western medicine for what may need to happen there? And then also, what can I take responsibility for in my beliefs about my body and my beliefs about my ability to heal?
Through this and my beliefs around let's say in terms of cancer, it won't return, right? So when we trust enough, when we believe enough, we augment the good of what we might need. On a physical realm with health. Right. I'm definitely, I definitely take the integrative approach. I'm definitely not one, especially in terms of cancer and heart disease to just belief alone.
But it definitely plays a role in our overall health and our [00:21:00] overall recovery. And then that's been known for a long time. Your belief about your ability to heal greatly. Affects your ability to heal. Right. And I think going back to what your sister went through, she wouldn't be who she is today.
And I believe that with really life always is working in our favor. So if you are facing a physical challenge, it's a wake up call. What are my beliefs around my body? What are my beliefs about my. Desire to fuel my body correctly with food and to exercise my body and all of that.
It's greatly tied to take a trauma, to take something that could have been meant for evil. Could, some people could sit with a specific trauma or a specific diagnosis and give in and not fight for themselves and not say, great, this is happening. What role do I play? How can I be empowered in this situation?
To come out and use this to be better in the long run. And to me, that is emotional intelligence. That's being able to take an emotion and say, is this an [00:22:00] intelligent thought? Is this a not intelligent thought? Because if it's not an intelligent thought, meaning it makes you feel good, whole, comfortable, healthy, it's an unintelligent thought.
And so deciphering between those two, and I will say that my personal dedication to personal growth over the next. F the past four or five years helped me. During my recovery with breast cancer, because there's a lot of fears that go along with that. There's a lot of challenges with recovering from reconstruction, et cetera, and I think that all the tools that I've learned helps you take something that, quite frankly, it can be a shit sandwich and say, okay, what are we gonna make of this?
Because something good will come out of it. I declare that something good will come out of this bad situation. Mm-hmm. and in turn, you get quicker recovery, you feel better in your body. You allow that stuckness that might sit like a pit in your stomach to move through you because you're willing to face it and you're willing to say, yes, this is happening, but it's happening for me, not
Sheree Beaumont: to me.
Christa Elza: Right. And that drastically changes the [00:23:00] frequency that we're putting out mentally. Like you
Juls Bindi: said, it's like languaging, right? You, you nailed it. Children would need language before they need healing. And that's what people get confused. It just like they don't have the languaging, how are they going to heal?
And that's why I created the My Body, my Rules, because. I didn't want my daughter or my friend's kids to have, to have a child, to have to unravel their body trauma at like 30 or 40 or 50 years old, like so many of us had to, and send them to our friend's workshop. Like I want them to be able to pass that.
Of course, we all mess up our kids no matter what. Like we, we will, we are human beings, but yes, we're human. Right, and then we'll send 'em to an emotional intelligence workshop and it's like, go handle that trauma, not the other trauma that I can actually support you in preventing in some sense. So this book gives children the language and confidence to set boundaries at like an early age and to understand that their bodies belong to them and to normalize the use of their voice, right?
It's preventative care for emotional [00:24:00] wear, wellness, use preventative care. That's why we take
Sheree Beaumont: supplements. That's why we work out. I love this and I love that this is so integrated. 'cause I think as we get older, we get more and more disconnected. When you think about a child, right, they are actually in their bodies a lot.
They're not so caught up in their mind because they're not worried about the financial things. They're not worried about taking care of other people. My little self was very much a helper person, but still, like they, they haven't got the responsibilities weighing on their shoulders.
So to give them the tools and the resources at such a young age is so empowering and to. Be in connection with themselves, and to know that that's normal and to know that there's an opportunity to explore and expand here. So I think that , it's really beautiful that you've brought this work to the youth so that, like you said, you don't get to 30, 40, 50, 60, and you start to wonder why you're feeling so disconnected.
Or to bring it back to the conversation we were having before. I always reference, I think Dr. Joe said it best, like just. Is what causes disease. And so it's not just [00:25:00] the physical things that are happening, it is that frequency. It is the state of mind. And so if you are walking around, like you said, in that victim mentality, if you are walking around being, and I say this very, very carefully because when we think about these big T traumas is what I like to call them.
Like rape is nothing to scoff at or even be like, this is something that you just. Look at the lesson from it and move on. It was hugely traumatic and you need to make sure that you're navigating that and not just trying to move yourself out of a victim mindset 'cause you were a victim in that incident.
But at the same time, being able to know what is in alignment with, what that next step is. Once you've done that deeper in a healing and go, how can I use this for my growth? Or how can I use this for my wisdom? Or, with a lot of the women I've worked with, it's. They've sh then shut off that intuition.
They've shut off that deeper connection to their bodies or to themselves because there's the blame [00:26:00] or there's the shame, or there's this shouldn't have happened to me or I asked for it, or even more deeper is they shut off the part of them that saw the red flags before the incidents even happened.
I did a self-defense course, and it was actually 30% was the physical side of it. 70% was understanding male psychology so that you were less likely to get yourself in a position that could even happen. Because so many incidences when it comes to rape or when it comes to these sexual assaults.
They aren't the random stranger walking down the alleyway that stops you. It is the neighbor, it is the friend. It is the guy you went to high school with that's dropped you home one night and forces himself upon you. And so to have the males like this again, this emotional intelligence, what is the red flag?
What is the knot in my stomach? What is that intuition telling me? As a female, this doesn't feel right. And again, [00:27:00] not from a place of blame, I could have done something differently, but to connect to yourself on a deeper level, and maybe even teaching children to trust their intuition, to trust that noise or that sensation in their body if something feels off to follow that.
Juls Bindi: Yeah, for sure. That's what I love. I also do coaching one-on-one coaching with some of my clients, and I do this thing called unshakeable. I do it twice a week. It's like donation based coaching for, cheap EQ for people who can't always afford it. And what I tell my clients is, reclaiming power starts with a conversation because, and that's why coaching is so powerful, is because I encourage my clients to tell me a story as a victim.
So for instance, Cherie, I want you to tell me a story right now and I want you to convince me that you're a victim. Something that recently happened to you. I want you to say, Jules, I have been, I am a victim and this is the story
Sheree Beaumont: that's really hard for me to drop into. Kristen, do you have a [00:28:00] story?
I'm like, I don't have anything that's happened.
Christa Elza: Yeah. I certainly could and those thoughts naturally come up. Okay. So, two months ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Yeah, you, I walk around going, why me? I see someone walking down the street that clearly looks unhealthy. And I'm thinking, well, why doesn't she have breast cancer?
Why do I have breast cancer? That's disempowering, that's I'm the victim to my circumstance. Right? So that was certainly something I was rolling around. The ego, the part of you is just like, what was me? This just happened to me. Why am I victim to this? And other women aren't? Why me? I live a healthy life.
I think I'm doing the right things and then just like that I am diagnosed with something that I thought I was working towards preventing. Right? Sure. I definitely, there was parts of me that definitely felt like a victim.
Juls Bindi: Okay, so that was basically right. Your complete victim. You say, why didn't [00:29:00] they have it?
They look more unhealthy. I live a healthy lifestyle. Why don't they have cancer and I have to deal with this, and they're not. So, is that what I'm hearing you say?
Christa Elza: Absolutely.
Juls Bindi: Yeah. So now I want you to retell that story and take full ownership and accountability for your cancer.
Christa Elza: Yeah. I did take care of my body.
This development of cancer happened I caught it early which was great. I was proactive. Also. I will learn from this. I can help others through my experience. I trust that my body will heal and I'm going to take this diagnosis with grace, trusting that God has a plan for my life and I'm going to use everything that I learn through this experience.
To not only help and grow myself, but also to help those around me in my world.
Juls Bindi: Okay. And so now I want you to reflect more about why do you think this cancer developed [00:30:00] in your body? Did you have past experiences in your history that could have been unresolved, trauma that wasn't addressed, that you think maybe that vibration carried over into an unhealthy way that stored in your body that you weren't able to release that way?
Because things in sickness wants to come out of her body. And then sometimes it'll grow into a tumor, which sometimes ultimately can end up in the cancer, which ultimately, you know, hopefully, I don't have it. Right. So we don't, we don't know until we know. Yeah. So it, it's one of those situations.
So what I'm saying is like when you take full ownership and accountability and say yes like let's say I had, let's say I have breast cancer right now. And I'm gonna say, why me? That woman over there, why doesn't she have it? I'm thin, I'm, I take good care of my body. I'm vegetarian. I don't drink alcohol.
I don't smoke. Like, why? This does not make any sense. Then I'm gonna go back and say, okay, now I'm gonna take ownership. I had a lot of trauma in my past. I [00:31:00] ignored a lot of stuff. I raged a lot. I was a different person than I was today. I wasn't the nicest person. I sometimes treated people poorly. I treated some past boyfriends poorly.
My ex-husband possibly, we got at it and I said, I've said some very cruel and mean things, which it wasn't his fault, it was my fault. And I take full ownership and accountability of my actions 'cause I wasn't in full victim mentality. And I think that's a possibility that that's why cancer built in my body.
I feel that because I found it, God has given me another purpose and. I'm very grateful that it's happened for me because now I'm able to speak about it. Now I'm able to create a podcast. Now I'm able to tell people that the signs of what it looks like to maybe possibly save other people's lives. And I never would've done that if I didn't find out that I had cancer in my body.
So, yeah, that's what I do with my clients. Yeah. I have 'em tell me in a victim [00:32:00] mentality, and then I tell them, convince me that you are not a victim. Mm-hmm. And then after that. Whole process. I have them tell me another story and then another story. So we work on different stories until what feels right for them.
And then if that story that they just said does not feel like the correct real rewrite, then we try another story. We try something else until we fill something that's a vibrational alignment with their body to change the frequency to that new story. Because as Krista, we're always lying to yourself.
No matter what, you're lying to yourself, so why not lie to yourself in a better story?
Christa Elza: You're always telling yourself a story. I will tell you one practice that I did during the time of, it's a little bit unnerving when you're diagnosed and you haven't had surgery yet, so you don't really know fully what's going on.
Until you have like surgical pathology till everything's out, right? So there was this window of time where, my biopsy came back. And then between that and surgery and working with that and trying to stay in the present moment and try to [00:33:00] trust this whole process. And so what I did was I wrote out all of my fears.
I'm gonna die during surgery. They're gonna find more. It's gonna be all over my body. Not like what the biopsy show. All the fears that just runs through your mind. And for me, I took the opposite. Then I'm gonna be completely healthy during surgery. I'm gonna recover amazing.
They're gonna find exactly what they think on the biopsy. Nothing further. And then where I could, I wrote out evidence for that fact. So I'm gonna recover I'm gonna die on the table. Turns into I'm going to breeze through surgery. Amazing. And how do, what evidence do I have for that? I've had, c-sections, I've had other procedures in my life and I did totally fine.
And then how does that then feel in my body? And with that, I was able to just be relaxed. To the point where they gave me Valium before the night for, to take the night before the surgery. 'cause I had to be at the hospital at 5:00 AM. And it can be really unnerving if you have to catch a flight at 5:00 AM let alone be at the hospital for an eight hour [00:34:00] surgery at 5:00 AM like your brain may not sleep well and through just the, just activating the rest and relax and trust through that way of thinking of taking my fear.
Saying, what if the opposite is true? 'cause either way, I'm telling myself a story. I don't know which one is true, but I'm gonna go ahead and go with the opposite. And then also find some evidence in my life that is true and it has been true for me in the past, or it has been true for people around me.
And so therefore I claim that for myself as well. And I was able to sleep well that night, to be honest. I didn't take anything. I just trusted and went to sleep. And those are the things that have also, I'm only, four and a half weeks out. Post-op at this point and still believing in my healing, still believing in quick recovery, still believing in not having any post-op complications is what's driving me now.
And I think this is where personal development, this is where emotional intelligence is important to do, no matter how you feel. Like you could say, oh, I haven't had much trauma in my life. Whatever. Listen, we all [00:35:00] have, but also the time to do the time to understand this and the time to do. Personal development is not in the middle of a trauma, although a lot of times that's what drives us to it.
But you want to be continuous and you want to do, I tell my patients this, do breath work every single day, do prayer and meditation every single day. Why? Because you need to have that kind of ingrained in your brain, that mind, body, spirit connection, so that when you do have a tragedy of any level in your life, whether it's a breakup or a diagnosis or a death in the family, whatever it may be.
You're better equipped and you can quickly go there. That's not when you, that's not when you practice. You practice on days that feel like a normal day, right? So that this kind of resonates and you can move through traumas much quicker and you heal better. You do. And that's scientifically we know, that, we know that you can scientifically shift and change yourself on a cellular level based on your beliefs.
And so, tying all this up, I [00:36:00] love jewels that you have created, books that will help children on their level understand that. So as they grow, they already know, they know how to protect themselves and say, I am the owner of my body and what I believe about my body and how I want to interact with other people in my body is important.
And it sets the stage then for taking ownership over your own being, your own emotions, your body, your beliefs. We get to change that. Nobody can change that for us. And I think the earlier we learned that, too bad in the eighties, we weren't doing stuff like this 'cause surely we were not.
But you know, I think it's fabulous that this is available and the brilliance that you have integrated your own experience into teaching people at an age that. We can completely bypass some of the traumas in general, and having the power, having the empowerment to stand up for yourself, whether it's against your own, little ego beliefs or it's other humans that are trying to invade your privacy, whether that's physically or emotionally.
Juls Bindi: Yeah. It's like what I say. Oh, and by the way, Chris, I just wanna [00:37:00] add that's amazing that you allowed yourself to be fully expressed. Your emotions. You wrote down everything that you were feeling you didn't bypass, and that's one of the things also, you're like, oh, okay, so we just get to express ourself and it will be, I'll be okay and we'll build to store trauma.
That's also, there's something called bypassing, which you get to be very careful of you. It's very difficult to move from victim to thriver. Right? I call, there's four different quadrants from my teachings. I say there's victim, there's victimized, there's survivor, and there's thriver. And you cannot move from victim to thriver because you're gonna be suppressing and you're not digging away at those onion layers, right?
So what you don't express, your body will suppress, right? Yes. And eventually it will speak through symptoms which you see your body never forgets, but it will forgive you once you start listening. Right? And that's the beautiful part of it. Like healing isn't about fixing yourself, it's about remembering who you were before the trauma.[00:38:00]
Christa Elza: Yeah.
Juls Bindi: And I used to live in survival mode and call it normal.
Christa Elza: Yeah,
Juls Bindi: that's,
Christa Elza: I love that survivor to thriver. Right. Because there is a difference between surviving and thriving for sure.
Juls Bindi: And by the way, forgiveness doesn't excuse what happened. It just frees my nervous system. Right. And there's a difference between someone asked me on another podcast is, is what did they say?
They asked me, well, if you forgive someone, then how? Like, , it's kinda like with the Harvey thing what did she ask me? It was a very powerful question.
Christa Elza: Yeah. Because I think people do think, well, if I forgive them, then I'm just allowing them to do whatever. And, and they don't, they're not held accountable.
Right. Because there is a difference. You're not doing it for them, you're doing it for yourself.
Juls Bindi: Yeah. So she says, well, oh, this is what she said. She said, so if you forgive someone, you don't hold them accountable or like you don't, you don't. Prosecute them or you don't charge them, or, hold them reliable.
It's like, no, those are two different things. I forgave Harvey, but I still took him to [00:39:00] court. I still took him to court in Los Angeles with the da, so make sure that he couldn't do this to anyone else. So it had nothing to do with me. It had to do with everyone else. The people that he raped and other survivors that he, that couldn't speak up had nothing to do with me.
I sat there in court with three days staring at him. Was, was it terrible? Yes, it was terrible. And I did what I had to do in order to do my part because I felt like I did not do my part before. So I let
Sheree Beaumont: that go. And the way you held yourself through that and were able to navigate through that for other people, like it's a perspective shift, like you say, with the forgiveness.
It is for your freedom. I often think, it's so that you feel lighter. It's so that you can walk into that room, into that courtroom, and yeah, you may still be shaken. You may still have those feelings and sensations in your body, but because you're doing it from an empowered [00:40:00] place and to help empower other women, you are holding yourself in such a different level.
And again, his energy, his vibration wasn't gonna affect you in that space because. Actually the forgiveness was the key to getting your power back. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's how I feel, is when you've changed that perception and you've changed that you're actually changing your reality when you operate from that space.
Like you said, it's forgiving yourself. Sorry. It's forgiving them for yourself, not for the other person.
Juls Bindi: Yeah, and I have some clients that get confused between some of what forgiveness means, and what I mean by that is I have someone that recently said, I'm never gonna forgive my ex. Husband for what he did to me.
And I said, I think you've already forgiven him. You just don't know it yet because you're still talking about what he did to you, and I shouldn't have gone back. I went back to him. It's my fault. I feel shame. So it's more about forgiveness for yourself. [00:41:00] And then once you reach forgiveness for yourself, you realize that everything that happened in that relationship.
Was perfectly lined up for you in order for you to leave. It was, how much louder do I have to be? Do you guys know that story about this guy who was like, oh, I'm protected by God, I'm protected by God. I don't need to leave my house with this flood. Did you, have you guys heard that story?
Christa Elza: No, I don't think I have.
Is this like a Noah's Ark
Juls Bindi: story? So, okay, I'll do it really fast. So there's this guy and there was his warnings everywhere and he was like, oh my God, this, the whole town's gonna flood. This whole town's gonna flood. And he is like, I'm protected by God. God will protect me. And then he stays in the house.
And then there was people that leaving this, the town. Then the rain came and the, the floods came, and then it went up to his first floor. He went up to the second story. He's like, you guys, and this boat goes by, he's like, Hey, get in the boat. Get in the boat. He's like, no, no, no. I'm protected by God. And then next thing you know it, it went up to the second floor.
He was on the roof. And then helicopter came and he was like, come on, get on here. He is like, no, no, no. I'm [00:42:00] protected by God. And then he ends up drowning and dying. And he goes up to heaven. God, what the heck? I thought I was protected by you. God responds, how many signs do you need me to give you? I gave you the warning, the flood warning I gave you the people on the boat.
I gave you the helicopter. How many times do you have to listen and sometimes you only listen if it causes death for you to get the real answers.
Christa Elza: Yeah.
Juls Bindi: I've always loved that story. Yeah. You can't think your way out of trauma. That's living in your body. It's not possible. You can't think your way out of it.
You get to process, you get to scream it, get to rage. Mm-hmm. You get to like just
Christa Elza: do your thing and get it out. It's okay. Yeah. And I think that everything does work in our favor. Right. Like you said, I keep going back to what you said about your sister and of course she didn't choose that on a level of like Yeah.
I guess I chose that and, it was not his fault. No, that's not what we're saying. We're saying like, on some level, she, I. [00:43:00] She chose the path to be a spokesperson for X, Y, Z. Right? Like her, right? That's kinda what we're saying here. It's like we never choose like other people to attack us or whatever, but what we get to choose is to say, cool, this happened.
I am able to, I'm gonna, I choose to make this. Work in my favor and in the favor of my world around me. And for me, I don't wish breast cancer and reconstruction and all of the things that, that comes along with it, but I choose to say, this will work in my favor and for those around me and those that I can impact.
Because without this happening to me, without this occurrence, I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't be who I'm becoming. I wouldn't be who I get to. Help along this path. It just, without the suffering. A lot of times we don't get what we really are asking for in this life. Unfortunately.
That's just how it works. Eckhart Toley, I went and saw him live in Austin a [00:44:00] couple months ago and, he wrapped up his entire two hours. Talking with, it was the worst of times. It was the best of times because that's how the best of times happen oftentimes. With the worst of times that drive us to the next level.
'cause when we're comfortable, we don't necessarily reach the next level. We're on status quo. And when we choose to use trauma, when we choose to face it, when we choose to sit through it, when we choose to move through it, we're healthier mentally. We can shake off more disease in our life and we're more of a blessing to help guide other people in that as well.
So, I hope you guys have enjoyed this conversation. I know we've been all over the place, but ultimately Jules, I thank you for being here and for sharing with us your gifts that you have used that have come and flourished and bloomed because of past trauma in your life. We wouldn't have the books, our children wouldn't have the books, we wouldn't have your brilliance in coaching had you not gone through and [00:45:00] chosen to believe that life happens for you not to you.
I would love for you, and we're gonna make it, we're gonna put it in the show notes, but will you just let our listeners know where they can find you, where they can purchase these beautiful books for their kids? Yeah. And how they can find you. And then we'll put it in the show notes as well.
Juls Bindi: Yeah.
Thank you so much. You can find me at Jules Bindi. It's J-U-L-S-B-I-N-D-I on all social media platforms or eq kid books.com. And EQ Kid Books is a nonprofit organization, so every single time someone donates a book, they can use it as a tax write, write off for a 5 0 1 C3, and we donate a book to schools to foster care programs or children's in need that cannot afford emotional intelligence.
So yeah, I'm again, I have a lot of books written, but I'm not gonna release another book until I spread the word about my body, my rules, and then my other books that are about divorce and relocation and about anti-bullying. About manifesting the best day ever and positive thinking, the [00:46:00] snowball effect and the breathing rock.
I have so many amazing stories to tell but first my mission is about our bodies, our autonomy, and making sure kids have a choice and know the rules.
I love that.
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